Loving people with my thoughts

As a mom of three young kids, I can easily tell that my thoughts directly impact the little (and big) people in my life. I believe thoughts are like the air, you cannot see them, but our thoughts can be felt by those around us.  How we think about people, or what we are thinking about in general, has a profound effect on the way we treat others and how they feel when they are with us.

Psalm 139:23 reads "Search me O God and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!".

Our thoughts have a significant impact on our lives. The Bible repeatedly talks about allowing God to change us from within. 

A few months ago, I began to challenge myself to love people with my thoughts. To think intentionally about a person in my life, the good qualities I admire in them, good memories we share and the good things they have done for me. At first, I picked the people I found the easiest and then whenever a negative thought about someone popped into my head, I would intentionally stop and ask God to help me have loving, compassionate, gracious thoughts instead. 

It has not been easy. I am amazed at some of the thoughts that cross my head! I mean sometimes they are just mean and unkind. 

Another challenging area I discovered was my thoughts about myself. Many times, they were mean and unkind too! I had to learn to love myself better if I wanted to love others better. To give myself grace and others grace for failure, hurt, unforgiveness, disappointment or just stuff. To give myself compassion and others compassion during times of stress, change, illness, suffering or tiredness. The only way we can do that is to lean on God. To take these thoughts moment by moment, day by day and surrender them to him and exchange them for a new heart that is soft and tender. It’s not a one-time exchange, it’s a daily routine. 

My son has this wonderful way of looking at me and saying, “Smile at me, Mom.” And he has a big smile himself. All he is looking for is a smile of acceptance - a smile that says I love you just the way you are, I am proud of you no matter what happens, and I will always love you. I look at him and my heart and mind and face smile when I am pleased with him. There are times when I don’t approve of what he is doing, and I need to take a moment and say moms not happy about that but smile back letting him know my acceptance and love has not changed. 

I wonder what our lives would look like if we could grace others and ourselves with that kind of a smile of acceptance? For me, it begins with loving thoughts that create a welcoming space that can be felt without having to say much.

A light soul is built of many loving thoughts. Join me on this journey by challenging yourself to choose a person each day and spend a few minutes to think of all the positive qualities that you enjoy about them, what you like about their appearance and the good things they have done for you, happy memories you may share with them and smile! 

Learning to Live Light

Life is about learning, growing, and changing. This year, more than any other before, I feel excited about change within me. 

Every decade of a life lived, has a lot of experiences, relationships, and dreams... the highs, and the lows, the good and the bad, the losses and the gains, the unforgettable and the trivial.

This year as I turned a decade older, I have been seized by this idea of learning to live light. To let go of the decade that has gone by and the heavy burdens that I hold on to.

Mathew 11: 28-30

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

This is a passage I have always loved in the Bible. It's simple. God invites us to walk with Him, work with Him, live with Him, and let Him carry our heavy burdens. He invites us to a rest that can be found in Him and a light burden. 

And to do this I am learning is a process, that can become a habit, that can become a lifestyle. How exciting! 

So what is the process? For me, it's a daily exchange. An exchange that happens sometimes in the quiet early hours of the day, sometimes during the day amid chaos, and sometimes late at night with quiet tears. It's taking the heavy things, the failure, the doubts, the hurt, the unforgiveness, the fears, the rejection, the judgment, the criticism, the past pain, the present troubles, the future worries, and everything else that we as humans carry or inflict on one another because we are all broken and need a savior.

My daughter a 6-year-old, was recently given the assignment to write about when she is "100 years old". She summarized her writing at the end stating "All I know is I'll be tired but happy". I loved that ending. That is how I want to end my life - tired because of my limited body but a happy soul. 

This blog is about this journey, this process that I talked about, of taking my overweight soul to Jesus and learning to exchange it for a light and happy soul.